Couch Surfing In Oregon

It’s my day off and I was really hoping for another hot and beautiful day outside. Apparently every weather man and woman in the east bay thought so too. It’s 3:38 pm and it’s supposed to be 81 degrees today in the east bay. Alas, it’s but only just broke the 60 degree mark and I figured that I should just chill at the apartment and write a blog instead of ride my bike or long board around Berkeley. Ugh.

Well it’s not all bad. With writing this, I can tell everyone the good... slash... not so good... slash... I’m really effing stoked... slash... kinda sad about... news. Now if that made any sense at all, I guess I shouldn’t be wasting your time anymore.

It has come to my attention that I am unable to find a decently paying job here in the bay area and heard that an old employer of mine needs some serious help back in Eugene. And since I am sick and tired of not being able to contribute to my relationship with Kendra monetarily, I’ve decided (after a few phone calls) to head back up north to make some money.

This might raise a few questions and I’m going to do my best as to answer them right now. One question that I got from one of the few that I have told this news to personally was, “Are you and your girlfriend okay?” My answer to this in all honesty, “Never better.” She is an amazing woman and I am so blessed to have her in my life. I made some sacrifices to move down here to be with her and it just isn’t really working out right now so I’ve made the choice to go where the money is. I’m used to working 40-60 hours a week between 2 to 3 jobs. It’s a bit of a financial shock when you go from 2 to 3 pay checks down to one tiny, minimum wage job with only 30 hours a week.

And, I thought this whole “Sugar Momma” thing was gonna be easy. Damn it.

Another question that was asked was, “Where the heck are you going to stay?” I’ll be hijacking Ken’s couch... well, one of his couches. Word on the street is that there is a enough couches in this house to facilitate a mexican family. Also, for those of you that don’t know Ken very well, he is one of my old house mates and good friend.
Shown here is the only picture that I have of my dear Kenneth that is neither

A) Not incriminating
B) Not nude, and
C) Does not question either of our sexual orientation.

Now whether or not B or C have anything to do with each other and the fact that he is planting a wet on me... well, let’s just say that living together with the same guy for nearly 3 years in a small house brings out the best in friends.

*ahem* Back to the questions. “Hey Jesse, when do you actually plan on being back?” To put it simply, I just put my two weeks notice in on Friday the 15th. So my last day will be the 29th and I’ll be there more than likely in the evening of the following Sunday the 31st.

Like I said before, I’m in a state of feeling happy/sad and excited/bummed. I feel like this is a good thing and quite honestly, the only option I have right now due to the lack of jobs around here. It’s definitely hard having these contrasting feelings about something in your life. I seriously recommend that you avoid feeling like this at all costs.

However, I am confident that this is going to work out and I thank all of those that have offered up your extra beds, couches, and back yards to pitch a tent in. It’ll be good to be near the family but you can bet money that I’ll be back to visit my girl as often as I can.

I’ll do my best to bring back some of the Californian sunshine with me. Now if I could get an answer from you guys that’d be great. How the hell did Zach’s mom find out about this before I even told my own parents? I only told Ken and Kolby and planned on telling others soon after, but somehow, Kellie Chambers got ahold of the news. Not that I mind but I swear that woman has got some kind of mental telepathy and mind raped me before I even knew what hit me.

I plan on keeping up on this blog, but I think it’ll be mostly for my bay area friends now. Or at least, until I’m back.

P.S.
Don't forget to click on my meaningless ads on the right. I'm almost a ten dollaraire thanks to Google.

Pimp Slaps and Pills

Oh my goodness. If you have ever had a problem getting enough sleep or keep waking up in the middle of the night, I highly recommend Tylenol PM. I slept for 11 hours straight and didn’t wake up once. I had the coolest and most in depth dreams I have had in years which makes me wonder what’s really in those glorious blue and white pills.

I’ve been working weird hours lately and which really isn't a problem seeing as how it’s really my only gig for now. On that note, there really hasn’t been anything terribly amazing happening other than we got our first piece of mail at the new place and I got my first Californian paycheck. Small as the check was and the single piece of mail was addressed to the anonymous tenants at our address, it kinda really solidified the fact that I actually live in California.

Dear God. How could I forget. Yesterday, I was just perusing the internets, when I couldn’t help but notice the sound of a lap dog being raped by an elephant outside my window. I looked down at the street and saw a large black woman producing the ungodly resonance. I realized that this would be a perfect moment to whip out my Flip Cam and take a few minutes of surveillance to share with you guys the amazingly entertaining displays of dysfunction that we witness out our very own windows.

It seemed to my eyes, that the gentleman on the right, (aka: dirty old bum) was harassing the large black woman, (aka: dirty fat bum). Then walks up this middle aged black man who wasn’t so dirty, (aka: possible pimp of the large black woman and assailant), this is where I started filming and well, the rest is in the video. Not very good quality cause it was shot at a distance with the zoom all the way up. My apologies for that, but I’m sure that you get the idea of the awesomeness that we are blessed with on a day to day basis here in the Bay Area.