Pimp Slaps and Pills

Oh my goodness. If you have ever had a problem getting enough sleep or keep waking up in the middle of the night, I highly recommend Tylenol PM. I slept for 11 hours straight and didn’t wake up once. I had the coolest and most in depth dreams I have had in years which makes me wonder what’s really in those glorious blue and white pills.

I’ve been working weird hours lately and which really isn't a problem seeing as how it’s really my only gig for now. On that note, there really hasn’t been anything terribly amazing happening other than we got our first piece of mail at the new place and I got my first Californian paycheck. Small as the check was and the single piece of mail was addressed to the anonymous tenants at our address, it kinda really solidified the fact that I actually live in California.

Dear God. How could I forget. Yesterday, I was just perusing the internets, when I couldn’t help but notice the sound of a lap dog being raped by an elephant outside my window. I looked down at the street and saw a large black woman producing the ungodly resonance. I realized that this would be a perfect moment to whip out my Flip Cam and take a few minutes of surveillance to share with you guys the amazingly entertaining displays of dysfunction that we witness out our very own windows.

It seemed to my eyes, that the gentleman on the right, (aka: dirty old bum) was harassing the large black woman, (aka: dirty fat bum). Then walks up this middle aged black man who wasn’t so dirty, (aka: possible pimp of the large black woman and assailant), this is where I started filming and well, the rest is in the video. Not very good quality cause it was shot at a distance with the zoom all the way up. My apologies for that, but I’m sure that you get the idea of the awesomeness that we are blessed with on a day to day basis here in the Bay Area.

I Think I left A Little Out.

Consider this a part deux of the last blog. After sleeping on it, I felt like I left a lot out. Plus there’s new crap to inform you kids about in my cuh-raaaaaa-zeeee life.

So when we got all settled in we kind of realized that we had a huge week in front of us. Kendra went to work and guess what... SO DID I!!! I was really stoked to get started. My first day at Peet's Coffee was pretty straight forward. The usual mumbo jumbo but I got to do my first coffee tasting. Just picture a bunch of winos sitting around making up silly words and putting them into sentences about coffee instead of wine. I’m learning a lot but after today, I think I need to take a break from the caffeine. I was so jacked up on caffeine yesterday that I woke up with a hang over this morning and today I did a tea tasting and had a cup of super tea. I accidently brewed my personal cup of tea way too long and made it a super tea and I was dying at work. I probably looked like a crack addict on the verge of throwing down HJ’s for their fix.

Part of our huge week thus far was getting our keys to the new apartment which included us forking over $2000 for a security deposit for our new place on top of the first months rent at $1100. That’s right kids, I said $1100 a month. You might be thinking, “Daaaaaaaamn, they must live in a castle made with gold bricks surrounded by a mote filled with grape soda. P-I-M-P”

Umm, yeah... not so much. It’s a small one bedroom with a tiny kitchen and a medium sized bathroom. It does have a ton of closet space and I’ll be sure to put some pics up of it before we really move in. There is a bus stop right out our front door and we live right above a sushi bar, as I might have mentioned in a previous post. It’s in a really amazing location. We have everything we need with in walking distance and everything else we could ever want is no more than 10 minutes down the road either direction. Including a Volcom store. Oh dear gawd!

Needless to say, we are super pumped and on top of that, we got a sweet designer custom made key for the front door. SNOW WHITE SUCKA!!!!