Friday, January 9, 2009

Pimp Slaps and Pills

Oh my goodness. If you have ever had a problem getting enough sleep or keep waking up in the middle of the night, I highly recommend Tylenol PM. I slept for 11 hours straight and didn’t wake up once. I had the coolest and most in depth dreams I have had in years which makes me wonder what’s really in those glorious blue and white pills.

I’ve been working weird hours lately and which really isn't a problem seeing as how it’s really my only gig for now. On that note, there really hasn’t been anything terribly amazing happening other than we got our first piece of mail at the new place and I got my first Californian paycheck. Small as the check was and the single piece of mail was addressed to the anonymous tenants at our address, it kinda really solidified the fact that I actually live in California.

Dear God. How could I forget. Yesterday, I was just perusing the internets, when I couldn’t help but notice the sound of a lap dog being raped by an elephant outside my window. I looked down at the street and saw a large black woman producing the ungodly resonance. I realized that this would be a perfect moment to whip out my Flip Cam and take a few minutes of surveillance to share with you guys the amazingly entertaining displays of dysfunction that we witness out our very own windows.

It seemed to my eyes, that the gentleman on the right, (aka: dirty old bum) was harassing the large black woman, (aka: dirty fat bum). Then walks up this middle aged black man who wasn’t so dirty, (aka: possible pimp of the large black woman and assailant), this is where I started filming and well, the rest is in the video. Not very good quality cause it was shot at a distance with the zoom all the way up. My apologies for that, but I’m sure that you get the idea of the awesomeness that we are blessed with on a day to day basis here in the Bay Area.


rye said...

Thank you Jesse for making my day a little bit better. You made me realize that as much as I could ever fuck up in life, I will never reach anything close this.

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

Jesus Christ. I absolutely adore that your camera captured the SLAP! sound! Pwned, bitches.

Uncle "E" said...

When you get older all you'll need my man is a Lazy-Boy (tm) that reclines past horizonal. With your head below your feet your heart pumps slower making for a most restful night of sleep. Almost like waking from a coma the next morning. Sleep is just temporary suicide.